Suicide and Effexor Withdrawal - No Fun Stuff Today

To update y'all on the Effexor withdrawal (this time)... I'm doing very well. I'm surprised I'm doing so well. The last time I tried to get off the Effexor, I had to start taking it again when the vertigo hit me. I could not deal with it at all, it was so intense.

This time I had a whole host of withdrawal symptoms, but after just a week of taking no Effexor at all, most of it has passed. And it was never bad enough to stop me from getting out of bed - it just made my days very unpleasant and very unproductive.

Vertigo

Numbness in my hands, wrists, neck, face and mouth.

"Buzzing" without sound - I'm still dealing with this, but much less so. Every time I turn my head, I feel the "buzz you cannot hear" in my neck and face.

Strange, fleeting, shooting pains in my arms and legs.

Headaches

Abdominal Cramps

Diarrhea

Nausea

Sweating profusely

"Losing time" - split seconds of time lost, as is wondering "how did i get here", "what was i just thinking about", etc.

I think that's it. That's all I can remember. So, I'm done with the Effexor. Never again.

But, so swiftly - my pain is back. I have trouble with that damn nerve pain in my shoulder (actually it's between my should and my neck), and it's getting worse already. Already - my depression is back (stupid winter). Already - all the fibromyalgia pains are back.

But, I feel good! I knew that I would!

Tell me your suggestions for the antidepressant that does the least harm, in the event I have to go back on one. I've read that Prozac will probably be my best option - do you concur?

Meanwhile, Rob is locked in an epic battle. Online, lol. Other than that - nothing! He is having some friends drop in on him pretty much daily (nightly), so he has not removed himself completely from his social network. We chatted a little yesterday, I wanted to tell him about Marcelle's son, so we could discuss how he's been feeling with himself, perhaps a little more honestly than we usually do. He's pretty much without feeling at this time. He's completely not happy with himself, but he's not too mad or sad, either. Good. We'll take it.

It took me a long time to conquer my fear that mentioning suicide to Rob might somehow trigger him. I had to read it from a few different sources that asking the question "are you feeling suicidal" will not cause a person to feel suicidal. And yet, it was such a struggle for me internally to get the nerve up to ask. It's easier now for me to ask Rob the question. Because I've met too many parents who have lost their children to this illness.

It does not hurt to ask.

Yesterday Rob said that he saw the gun and the bullet that he assumes his acquaintance used to kill himself a few days before he did it. The bullet had a smiley face on it. I sigh here, because I don't understand why none of this boy's friends thought to tell someone about this (including my own son). It's unthinkable to me. But it reinforces my belief that it is up to me to watch for it, wait for it, ask about it, and keep my head out of the damned sand about it. And keep my own head above water so I'm able to pay attention.